What Mr. Rogers Taught Us About Raising Good Neighbors

Illustrated autumn neighborhood with neighbors, homes, trees, and a dog

August 31, 2001, was a significant day in children’s television and a sad one in many ways. It was the final time a new episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood aired.

For more than thirty years, Fred Rogers invited children into his neighborhood. He changed his shoes, put on his cardigan, fed his fish, talked with children about things that mattered, and then took us to the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

  • He talked about feelings.
  • He talked about friendship.
  • He talked about being different.
  • He talked about disappointment, fear, kindness, responsibility, and forgiveness.

He did something that seems almost strange today: He slowed down. Far different from much entertainment aimed at kids, there was no constant stream of stimulation, no need to make everything louder, faster, or more exciting. Instead, he talked quietly to children. And he treated them as though what they thought and felt mattered.

I’ve been thinking about Fred Rogers because so much of what he believed about children connects with what I’ve been writing about in these Family Values articles—especially the importance of reading and using stories to teach children how to live.

I don’t think Fred Rogers and I would have agreed on everything.

But I think we would have agreed on something important:

Children are worth our time and attention.

Mr. Rogers Took Children Seriously

Fred Rogers wasn’t originally a television celebrity.

After graduating from college in 1951, he went into television (not the military, as some falsely claimed). But he eventually returned to Pittsburgh, where he became involved with WQED and children’s programming. While working in children’s television, he also studied child development and worked closely with psychologist Margaret McFarland.

That relationship was important.

Fred didn’t simply decide what children needed based on what he thought would make entertaining television. He wanted his programs to reflect what was actually happening in the lives and development of children.

That tells me something about the way he viewed children. He didn’t see them as little adults. But he also didn’t see them as foolish or naive. He trusted them with heavy topics.

Bigotry

The Wading Pool Scene (1969): During an era when many public swimming pools were still segregated or hostile to Black Americans, Fred Rogers invited François Clemmons—who played Officer Clemmons—to cool his feet in a small plastic pool with him. Rogers then shared his towel to dry Clemmons’ feet, much like Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, delivering a powerful, silent visual message against racial discrimination and exclusion.

Death, Assassination, and Tragedy

  • Assassination Specials: Following national tragedies like the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr. and Robert F. Kennedy in 1968, Rogers created special segments to help children process political violence, loss, and fear.
  • Death and Pet Loss: He addressed the concept of death directly—such as when a goldfish died in the neighborhood—teaching children that it is natural to feel sad and confused by finality.

War and Conflict

And he shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruninghooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.

Divorce and Family Changes

  • Divorce: Rogers tackled the emotional impact of parents separating. He assured young viewers that even when adults go through difficult changes and painful emotions, a child is never the cause of a divorce and remains deeply loved.
  • Episodes 1476–1480 — “Divorce” (February 16–20, 1981)
  • This is another five-episode series: Prince Tuesday worries that his parents are going to divorce and even believes the conflict is his fault. The episodes repeatedly reinforce that adult problems are not the child’s fault and give children opportunities to express their fears and feelings.

Disability Rights

Inclusion and Accessibility: Rogers featured guests with disabilities, such as Jeff Erlanger, a young boy using an electric wheelchair. Rogers spoke to him with complete equality and dignity, normalizing disabilities and answering children’s curious questions without pity or stigma.

Difficult Subjects Need to Be Discussed

One of the things I admire most about Fred Rogers is that he didn’t believe children needed to be protected from every difficult subject. He believed they needed caring adults who could help them understand those subjects. He was one of those adults and encouraged others to be.

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood addressed difficult subjects such as racism, death, divorce, disability, fear, conflict, and other subjects that adults sometimes hesitate to discuss with children. Rogers didn’t simply tell children what to think. He gave them a safe place to encounter difficult ideas, ask questions, express their feelings, and begin making sense of the world around them. He demonstrated these traits through his actions and through stories in The Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

My Own Writing

That is something I have tried to do in my own writing.

My middle-grade novel, Redeeming Rhubarb, also deals with a difficult subject: prejudice and racism. The story was inspired by the real 2013 Boulder, Colorado floods, but the adventure becomes a way for young readers to explore what happens when fear and assumptions cause us to judge people we don’t really know.

The goal isn’t to give children a lecture about prejudice. It’s to give them a story they can experience.

A child can watch characters make choices, see the consequences of those choices, and then talk about what happened. Why did that character act that way? Was it right? What caused the fear? How did the other person feel? What could have been done differently? And, as Christian families, what does Scripture teach us about how we should treat other people?

That approach is very important to me.

Conversations

Like Fred Rogers, I believe difficult subjects can become opportunities for meaningful conversations when children have a trusted adult beside them.

That’s one reason I believe books matter.

A good story doesn’t have to answer every question for a child. Sometimes it simply needs to open the door to a conversation that might not have happened otherwise.

That’s what I hope Redeeming Rhubarb does.

And that’s one of the lessons I take from Mr. Rogers: we don’t help children by pretending difficult things don’t exist. We help them by walking with them as they learn how to face those things—with truth, compassion, courage, and love.

Understanding Children

Fred Rodgers understood that children have real fears, real questions, real disappointments, and real emotions.

Sometimes adults are tempted to dismiss those things.

  • “You’re okay.”
  • “Don’t worry about it.”
  • “It’s not a big deal.”

But to a child, it may be a very big deal. Mr. Rogers was willing to talk about those things. And perhaps that is one reason children trusted him. He didn’t preach. He spoke gently and, more often than not, demonstrated his lesson through a “make-believe” story.

Stories Give Children a Safe Place to Learn

His philosophy has a strong connection to reading. I’ve written before about why I believe books are such an important tool for teaching children values. It’s important to read aloud to kids. We can choose books that teach life lessons. We can teach biblical values through literature.

A child may resist a lecture about honesty, but put a character in a story who lies, and suddenly the child can watch what happens.

  • A character makes a selfish decision.
  • Another character forgives.
  • Someone faces a difficult choice.
  • Someone else shows courage.

The child gets to see the consequences without having to experience every consequence personally.That’s one of the great gifts of literature.

Stories give children a safe place to wrestle with difficult ideas.

Fred Rogers understood something similar.

His television program used stories, puppets, music, and the Neighborhood of Make-Believe to help children think about the issues they were facing in real life. His conversations with child-development expert Margaret McFarland helped him make those stories relevant to children’s actual concerns.

The medium was different.

He used television.

I’m talking about books.

But the principle is remarkably similar.

A story can open a door that a lecture can’t.

Fred Rogers Loved Books

There’s another connection that I find especially interesting.

Fred Rogers himself developed a love of reading as a child because of his childhood librarian, whom he called “Aunt” Sara McComb. According to the Fred Rogers Institute, Fred frequently mentioned her when talking about books and reading. She shared her love of books with children at the library, and Fred learned from that experience. There’s something beautiful about that.

One person who loved books helped a child develop a love for reading. That child eventually became the man millions of children trusted. And decades later, we’re still talking about him. It reminds me that we don’t always know what our influence will become.

  • Maybe you’re the parent reading a bedtime story tonight.
  • Maybe you’re the grandparent taking a child to the library.
  • Maybe you’re the teacher recommending a book.
  • Maybe you’re the librarian who remembers a child’s name.

It may seem like a small thing.

But it may not be small to the child.

An anonymous usher stopped a teenage Billy Graham from walking away from a packed 1934 tent revival in Charlotte, North Carolina. He found seats for Billy and his friend. The revival led Billy Graham to make Jesus his savior. Billy Graham impacted millions of lives and led many of those into a relationship with Jesus. The usher did a small thing, but it had a big impact, a huge ripple effect. Aunt Sara did one small thing that impacted millions of children through Fred Rogers.

Reading Is About More Than Reading

I’ve said this before, but it is worth repeating.

The goal isn’t simply to get through more books. The goal is to let good books get into our children.

When our children were younger, we would snuggle together and read. One of my favorite family memories is reading Charlotte’s Web together, a chapter at a time.

We weren’t simply completing a book. We were sharing an experience. That’s an important distinction.

Reading aloud develops literacy, vocabulary, comprehension, and imagination. But something else happens when a parent sits beside a child and reads.

We build a relationship.

We’re saying:

  • You matter to me.
  • What you’re interested in matters to me.
  • I want to spend time with you.

Fred Rogers understood the importance of that kind of relationship.

His television program wasn’t designed merely to give children information. He wanted children to feel that they were being welcomed by someone who cared about them.

The famous question in his theme song wasn’t simply an invitation to watch television.

It was an invitation into relationship.

Won’t you be my neighbor?

What Happens When We Read Together?

One of my favorite things about reading with children is the conversation that follows. Sometimes the conversation isn’t even about the book.

  • A character makes a choice.
    • “What do you think about that?”
  • A character hurts someone.
    • “Why do you think she did that?”
  • Someone gets treated unfairly.
    • “Was that right?”
  • Someone shows courage.
    • “Would you have been brave enough to do that?”
  • And sometimes we can go even deeper.
    • “What does the Bible say about that?”

Now the book has become a bridge.We’re no longer simply talking about a fictional character. We’re talking about life.

I’ve written about this before because I don’t want my children simply to memorize a list of rules.

  • I want them to learn how to think.
  • I want them to recognize good and evil.
  • I want them to understand consequences.
  • I want them to develop empathy.
  • I want them to ask questions.
  • And ultimately, I want them to compare what they encounter in the world with God’s Word.

A good book can help us do that.

The Final Neighborhood

There’s something almost fitting about what happened in the final episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

The final week was called “Celebrate the Arts.”

In the Neighborhood of Make-Believe, Lady Elaine had appointed herself the judge of everyone’s artwork. But by the end, instead of judging the other characters, she created a collage celebrating them.

The final episode aired on August 31, 2001.

Think about that.

A program that spent decades teaching children about feelings, relationships, and how we treat one another ended with a story about moving from judgment toward appreciation. That seems remarkably appropriate.

Fred Rogers understood that how we feel about ourselves can affect how we treat other people. And isn’t that something our children still need to learn?

  • A child who feels loved can learn to love.
  • A child who experiences forgiveness can learn to forgive.
  • A child who is listened to can learn to listen.
  • A child who is treated with patience can learn patience.

A child who spends years hearing good stories about courage, kindness, sacrifice, friendship, and forgiveness has a vocabulary for understanding those things when they encounter them in real life.

We Can’t Always Be There

There comes a point when our children leave the house.

  • We can’t follow them everywhere.
  • We can’t hear every conversation.
  • We can’t see every decision.
  • We can’t answer every question.

That’s one reason I believe so strongly in giving children good books. A good story can stay with them. Years after we’ve finished reading a book, a character may come back to them.

  • They may remember what happened to Wilbur.
  • They may remember Charlotte’s sacrifice.
  • They may remember Heidi’s love for her grandfather.
  • They may remember a character who showed courage when courage was difficult.

And perhaps, at some point, they’ll face their own difficult decision and remember that story. That’s when the book has become something more than a book. It has become part of them.

What Kind of Neighbors Are We Raising?

Fred Rogers wanted children to understand that they were valuable and that other people mattered.

I want the same thing for my children, but I want to go one step further.

  • I want them to understand why people matter.
  • I want them to understand that every person is created by God.
  • I want them to understand that Jesus commanded us to love our neighbors.
  • I want them to understand that loving someone doesn’t mean approving of everything that person does.
  • I want them to understand forgiveness without confusing forgiveness with pretending that wrong doesn’t matter.
  • I want them to understand that courage sometimes means standing up for what is right.
  • I want them to understand that compassion means looking beyond the surface and trying to understand another person’s story.

Those lessons don’t have to come only through lectures. They can come through conversations. They can come through Scripture. And they can come through stories.

Start With One Book

You don’t need a huge library or a complicated curriculum. You don’t need to spend hours preparing a lesson. Start with one book. Sit beside your child.

  • Read.
  • Listen.
  • Talk.
  • Ask questions.
  • And when the story presents an opportunity, take it.
    • “What would you have done?”
    • “Why do you think he did that?”
    • “Was that a good choice?”
    • “How did that make the other person feel?”
    • “What does the Bible say about this?”
    • Then listen to the answer.
  • Don’t immediately correct.
  • Don’t turn every conversation into a sermon.

Sometimes our children need us to listen more than they need us to talk.

Fred Rogers understood the power of listening, slowing down, and taking children seriously.

I think we could use a little more of that today.

One Child. One Book. One Conversation.

The last original episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood aired twenty-five years ago.

Fred Rogers died in 2003, but the neighborhood he created hasn’t really disappeared. His impact hasn’t left us.

  • Every time we teach a child to be kind, we extend it.
  • Every time we listen to a child’s question, we extend it.
  • Every time we help a child understand someone else’s feelings, we extend it.
  • And every time we sit down with a child and open a good book, we have another opportunity to build that kind of neighborhood in our own home.

We don’t have to change the world all at once.

We can start much smaller.

  • One child.
  • One book.
  • One conversation.

Maybe that’s how we raise better neighbors.

And maybe, years from now, our children will remember those quiet moments—not because we gave them another lesson, but because we gave them something better.

  • We gave them our time.
  • We gave them our attention.
  • We gave them stories.

And through those stories, we helped them discover what it means to love God, love their neighbor, and live a life of character.

That’s a legacy worth leaving behind.

References

The following sources were consulted for the information about Fred Rogers and Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood discussed in this article.

  • Fred Rogers Institute — About Fred Rogers
    A comprehensive biography covering Fred Rogers’ childhood, education, family, early television career, study of child development, work with psychologist Margaret McFarland, and his philosophy of serving children and families.
    About Fred Rogers — Fred Rogers Institute
  • Fred Rogers Productions — Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
    Information about the purpose of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, its approach to children, and its learning goals, including empathy, imagination, respect, self-esteem, emotional regulation, and social skills.
    Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood — Fred Rogers Productions
  • Fred Rogers Institute — Fred Rogers Archive
    An Extensive archive preserves more than 22,000 items from Fred Rogers’ life and work, including writings, photographs, scripts, and other materials that document his ideas about childhood, families, education, and reading.
    Fred Rogers Institute Archive
  • Fred Rogers Institute — The Simple Spiral of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
    Documents the first episode, which aired February 19, 1968, and the final original episode, #1765, Mister Rogers Celebrates the Arts, which aired August 31, 2001. It also discusses the closing moments of both episodes and the continuity of Rogers’ message throughout the series.
    The Simple Spiral of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
  • The Neighborhood Archive — Episode 1765
    Detailed information about the final original episode, Mister Rogers Celebrates the Arts, including its August 31, 2001 air date and the stories and activities featured in the episode.
    Episode 1765 — The Neighborhood Archive
  • The Washington Post — “For Mister Rogers, a Final Day in the Neighborhood”
    Contemporary reporting published September 1, 2001, describing the final new episode and Fred Rogers’ decision to end the series without a traditional television farewell.
    For Mister Rogers, a Final Day in the Neighborhood — The Washington Post

Learn more about Redeeming Rhubarb: Redeeming Rhubarb — Reading With Your Kids

Explore Bob Richley’s books and resources: Bob Richley — Christ-Centered Books for Families.

How to Use Poetry in Home Education: A Complete Guide

Worn Selected Poems beside a pen and eyeglasses

Benefits of Using Poetry in Home Education

Poetry can be a wonderful addition to a home education because it gives children something that many other forms of writing do not: freedom to play with language, ideas, sounds, emotions, and imagination.

When children write prose, they are usually expected to communicate their thoughts in complete sentences and organized paragraphs. Poetry can loosen those boundaries. A poem might rhyme, repeat words, break grammatical conventions, use unusual imagery, or even invent words. Children can experiment with language simply to see what happens.

That freedom can make poetry less intimidating and more enjoyable while developing important skills in reading, writing, vocabulary, creativity, observation, and communication.

I have experienced this freedom in my own poetry. Some of my poems are highly structured, while others are much more conversational. Some use rhyme extensively, while others depend more on imagery and ideas. This variety is one of the things that makes poetry so valuable for education.

Experiment With Language

One of the simplest benefits of poetry is that it allows children to play with words.

Rhymes, rhythms, repetition, alliteration, unusual word combinations, and even nonsense words can become part of the creative process. Children begin to notice not only what words mean but also how words sound together.

A child might start with something as simple as:

The cat sat next to the rat.
How fun is that?

There isn’t much literary sophistication in those two lines—and that’s precisely the point. A young child has discovered that cat, sat, and rat sound alike and can be combined to create something amusing.

This poem I wrote many, many years ago, based on a true story. It’s a fun a poem that younger readers should enjoy

Peepy, Poopoo, Potty

The adult was the one who started
With a joke that included a person who farted
Which started the kids laughing before the punch line.

Then they all took their turn on stage
From oldest to the youngest of age
Telling jokes about farts, poops and pots.

The children laughed and giggled loudly
As each had a turn at being a star proudly
Simply telling their jokes and being silly tots.

When the three year old's turn came
He did not pause to think but merely exclaimed
'Peepy, Poopoo, Potty!'

And got the biggest laugh of all.

As children become more comfortable with language, they can begin experimenting with more complicated combinations.

For example, in my fantasy poetry, I created names and words that fit the poem’s imaginary world. In The Battle of Elmond, I use names such as Restiny and connect the name to the word destiny. The poem tells how the Pools of King Elmond eventually became the Pools of Restiny after men came seeking their own destiny.

This kind of wordplay can become an excellent homeschool activity. Ask your child:

  • Can you invent a character with a name that has a hidden meaning?
  • Can you create three words that rhyme with the character’s name?
  • Can you make up a word and explain what it means?
  • Can you write four lines in which every line ends with a rhyming word?
  • Can you tell a story using words that begin with the same sound?

Children are learning about phonics, vocabulary, spelling, rhythm, and sentence construction—but they are also having fun.

Poetry turns language into something children can experiment with rather than memorize.

Discover Rhythm and Rhyme

Poetry also teaches children to hear the rhythm of language.

Consider the difference between ordinary prose and a rhyming poem. In prose, we generally concentrate on communicating the idea. In poetry, we become much more aware of the sounds and patterns of the words.

For example, I often use rhyme in my poems. In my poem Senses of the Soul, I have this stanza.

Warm days fill us with delight
As dawn breaks into the light.
Colorful flowers bloom and grow
As the cool breezes blow.

The rhyme isn’t merely decoration. It gives the poem a pattern that helps the reader anticipate what comes next.

Children can discover this themselves by experimenting with different endings:

The dog ran down the street.
He thought the world was pretty neat.

Then challenge them to change the rhythm:

The little dog went running down the street,
His tiny paws went pitter-patter feet.

They can hear that poetry isn’t simply about finding words that rhyme. It is also about how the words move when we read them aloud.

Reading poetry aloud is therefore particularly valuable in homeschool education. Encourage children to clap the rhythm, emphasize certain words, experiment with pauses, and read the same poem in different ways.

Create Sensory Imagery

Poetry gives children an opportunity to turn an idea into a picture.

Instead of simply saying:

The waterfall was beautiful.

a poet might write about crystal water falling into a quiet pool.

In The Great War Between Men and Elves, I describe an imaginary landscape using colors, architecture, water, flowers, and movement:

Scarlet and violet flowers
Accenting gold and white towers,
Encircled by pools of green and blue,

The purpose is not simply to tell the reader that the setting is beautiful. The descriptive language encourages the reader to see the scene in their imagination.

This is an excellent exercise for children.

Take an ordinary object—a rock, a tree, a cup of water, a snow-covered window—and ask the child to describe it without naming it.

  • What does it look like?
  • What color is it?
  • What does it feel like?
  • Is it warm or cold?
  • Does it make a sound?
  • Does it have a smell?
  • What does it remind you of?

Then turn those observations into a poem.

This teaches children to pay attention to the world around them. They begin to discover that ordinary things can become extraordinary when we look closely enough.

One of my poems, Importance, grew out of precisely this kind of observation. My daughter stops to examine things that I might otherwise hurry past—such as an ordinary stone or a piece of trash. What looks insignificant to an adult can become fascinating to a child.

Poetry can help children recover that sense of wonder.

There Is No Single Right Answer

Poetry is flexible and personal.

A child doesn’t have to produce a poem that looks exactly like the teacher’s example. Two children can be given the same subject and produce completely different poems—and both can be successful.

  • One child might write four rhyming lines.
  • Another might write free verse.
  • Another might write a humorous poem.
  • Another might write a serious poem about how the subject makes them feel.

That freedom can be especially valuable for children who become frustrated when every writing assignment seems to have one “correct” answer. I’m a mathematician, but my daughters complain about math. One mistake and the whole problem is wrong. It is devastating. Poetry doesn’t have the problem. Poetry can be free from rules, unstructured, and creative.

Of course, poetry can have rules. There are sonnets, haiku, limericks, ballads, and many other poetic forms with specific structures. Learning those forms can be educational in itself.

But structure doesn’t eliminate creativity.

Even Shakespearean sonnets follow recognizable rules while allowing tremendous variation in vocabulary, imagery, ideas, and emotional expression.

In writing poetry, children can therefore experience both structure and freedom.

They can learn the rules of a particular poetic form and then discover how creatively they can work within those rules.

Or they can put the rules aside and write.

Both experiences have educational value.

Emotional Freedom

Writing Poetry

Poetry can also give children a safe way to explore emotions. I often express my feelings with poetry. In trying to process my dad having cancer for the second time, I wrote this poem:

Out of the Depths

Sometimes situations make no earthly sense,
The pain is sharp and the darkness dense.
We climb deeper into our hole of despair
And can barely grasp for any air.

Looking at the wind and the waves, we sink
Our hope, faith, and trust are on the brink
Of slipping into the depths of the stormy sea.
In desperation, we cry to be set free.

It is then that Hope reaches down His hand,
Encouraging us to take our final stand.
Looking up into Love's tender eyes,
We find the strength and courage to rise.

This poem uses the imagery of darkness, storms, sinking, and rising to express despair and hope. The emotions aren’t presented simply as a list of statements. They are communicated through images:

Sometimes situations make no earthly sense,
The pain is sharp and the darkness dense.

The poem eventually moves from desperation toward hope and courage.

It is then that Hope reaches down His hand,
Encouraging us to take our final stand.

Another example is My Dad, which expresses love, gratitude, memories, and admiration through a series of descriptions of a father who was present, loving, firm, gentle, and influential.

These poems illustrate an important educational principle: poetry allows us to express what we sometimes cannot easily explain.

Children sometimes have difficulty explaining complicated feelings in ordinary conversation. A poem gives them another way to communicate.

They can write about happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disappointment, friendship, loneliness, hope, love, or confusion without having to explain everything directly.

Reading Poetry

Reading poetry offers another dimension of emotional education. A child may read a poem and understand it differently from another child—or differently from the poet who wrote it. As a poet, I’ve experienced how people understand my poems. I’ve read their comments and seen that they interpret the poem through their own paradigm.

Every reader brings experiences, memories, beliefs, and emotions to what they read.

This doesn’t mean every interpretation is equally supported by a poem’s words. But it does mean that poetry can open the door to meaningful conversations:

  • “What do you think the poet is feeling?”
  • “What makes you think that?”
  • “Have you ever felt that way?”
  • “What picture came into your mind when you read this?”
  • “Would you have described the feeling differently?”

These questions encourage children to think beyond simply identifying the “correct answer.” They learn to support their interpretations with evidence from the poem while also recognizing that another reader may see something they missed.

Poetry Encourages Observation, Reflection, and Wonder

One of poetry’s greatest gifts to a homeschool education is teaching children to slow down and notice things.

Poetry asks us to pay attention to a word, a sound, an image, a feeling, or a moment.

That can be especially valuable in a culture where distractions constantly surround children.

In Importance, I contrast the hurried perspective of an adult with the slower, more observant perspective of a child. My daughter sees wonder in ordinary things while I am focused on getting somewhere. The poem ultimately asks whether adults sometimes miss the beauty around us because we are too busy.

That makes poetry more than a language exercise.

It can become an exercise in attention.

A child who learns to notice the color of the sunset, the sound of rain against a window, the shape of a cloud, the texture of tree bark, or the expression on someone’s face is developing the raw material of poetry—and also developing the habits of a thoughtful observer.

Poetry teaches children to look at the familiar and ask:

  • What am I missing?
  • What else could this mean?
  • How does this make me feel?
  • How can I describe it in a way someone else can experience?

Those are valuable questions far beyond the poetry lesson.

Choosing the Right Poetry for Different Ages

One of the advantages of poetry is that there is a form for almost every age and reading level. Parents don’t have to begin with difficult, serious poetry. In fact, some of the best introductions to poetry are playful, funny, rhythmic, and even a little silly.

As children grow, their exposure to poetry can grow with them. The goal isn’t necessarily to move from “easy” poetry to “hard” poetry, but to introduce children to increasingly varied ways of using language, imagery, structure, ideas, and emotion.

Young Children: Rhyme, Rhythm, Humor, and Imagination

For younger children, poems with rhyme, repetition, humor, animals, nature, nonsense words, and strong rhythms are often a natural place to begin. The goal at this age is to help children enjoy the sound and playfulness of language.

Fun Poetry

Dr. Seuss is an excellent example. His books demonstrate how much fun children can have with rhyme, rhythm, repetition, invented words, and unusual sound combinations. His poems don’t simply tell children what words mean—they let children experience what words can do.

Shel Silverstein is another wonderful choice. Poems such as Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too invite children into a world where the ordinary rules of reality can be set aside. The poem’s playful rhyme, rhythm, repetition, and fantastic imagery demonstrate that poetry doesn’t always have to make literal sense to be enjoyable.

Edward Lear provides another excellent introduction through nonsense poetry. His poems demonstrate that language can be funny and imaginative even when the situations described are impossible.

This kind of poetry gives children permission to laugh, imagine, and experiment.

Other good choices for younger children include poems by A. A. Milne and Jack Prelutsky. Edward Lear’s nonsense poetry, in particular, shows children that words can be enjoyable even when they describe things that could never really happen.

At this stage, don’t worry too much about explaining every poetic device. Let children hear the rhythm, repeat favorite lines, laugh at the humor, and notice the sounds.

Biblical Poetry

But children can also be introduced to biblical poetry at a young age.

Psalm 23 in the King James Version is particularly accessible because it uses familiar images: sheep, green pastures, still waters, paths, a valley, a table, and an overflowing cup.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Although A young child may not understand every theological or poetic detail, they can understand the pictures. They can imagine green grass, quiet water, a shepherd, and sheep.

Parents can ask simple questions:

  • What pictures do you see in this Psalm?
  • What does a shepherd do for sheep?
  • What do you think “still waters” means?
  • Which image do you like best?
  • Can you draw the scene described in the Psalm?

Psalm 23 also introduces children to an important aspect of poetry: it can communicate ideas through pictures.

The Psalm doesn’t simply say, “God takes care of me.” It gives the reader a picture of a shepherd caring for his sheep.

That is poetry.

Discussion

You can ask simple questions:

  • What part did you like best?
  • What words rhymed?
  • Can you make up a silly word?
  • Can you write a poem about a ridiculous animal?
  • Can you make up a character who lives somewhere impossible?

The child is already learning about language and poetry—even when they think they are simply having fun.

Elementary-Age Children: Imagery, Nature, Storytelling, and Figurative Language

As children become more confident readers and writers, they can begin exploring sensory imagery, figurative language, nature poetry, storytelling, and simple poetic forms.

Robert Frost is particularly useful at this age because his poetry often begins with things children can understand—a road, a snowy evening, a wall, a tree, or a walk through the woods—and uses those familiar subjects to explore deeper ideas.

For example, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening offers opportunities to discuss the sights and sounds of a winter landscape while also reflecting on the speaker’s thoughts and responsibilities.

Frost can help children see that a poem can be about something ordinary on the surface while suggesting something much deeper beneath the surface.

Children can also explore Emily Dickinson, whose short poems often use nature and everyday observations to explore larger ideas. Her poems can be especially useful for teaching children that a poem need not be long to say something significant.

At this stage, children can begin identifying:

  • Similes
  • Metaphors
  • Personification
  • Repetition
  • Alliteration
  • Rhyme
  • Rhythm
  • Sensory imagery

They can then try these techniques themselves.

For example, after reading a poem about winter, ask the child to describe snow without using the word snow. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like? What could it be compared to?

This turns literary analysis into a creative exercise.

Older Elementary and Middle School: Form, Voice, Humor, and Meaning

As children grow, introduce them to poets who demonstrate a wider range of poetic forms and subjects.

Shel Silverstein remains valuable even for older children because his poems often contain surface-level humor while raising interesting questions beneath the surface. A funny poem can still encourage children to think about responsibility, consequences, imagination, relationships, and human behavior.

Robert Frost can be revisited at this age as students become better able to recognize symbolism and multiple meanings.

Students can also explore poets such as Langston Hughes, Walt Whitman, Christina Rossetti, William Blake, and Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.

This is a good age to introduce more formal poetry.

Children can experiment with:

  • Haiku
  • Limericks
  • Ballads
  • Narrative poems
  • Acrostics
  • Sonnets
  • Free verse

They can also begin comparing poets.

  • How does Frost describe nature compared with Dickinson?
  • How does Silverstein use humor differently from Dr. Seuss?
  • How does a poem with strict rhyme and meter feel different from free verse?

These comparisons help children understand that poetry isn’t one particular style. Poetry is a broad form of expression with many voices and possibilities.

Teenagers: Deeper Themes, Symbolism, History, and the Human Experience

Teenagers can begin exploring poetry that explores more complex themes, including identity, relationships, morality, suffering, faith, responsibility, death, hope, injustice, and the human experience.

This is an excellent time to introduce William Shakespeare, particularly his sonnets. Shakespeare provides an opportunity to study poetic structure while also exploring timeless subjects such as love, beauty, aging, jealousy, time, mortality, and human nature.

Students can learn that a sonnet has a recognizable structure and rhyme scheme without every sonnet expressing the same idea or emotion.

Robert Frost can also be revisited at this level. Poems that initially seem like simple descriptions of nature can become opportunities to discuss symbolism, choices, responsibility, isolation, and the passage of time.

Teenagers can also explore poets such as:

  • William Shakespeare — sonnets, love, mortality, time, human nature
  • Robert Frost — nature, choices, responsibility, symbolism
  • Emily Dickinson — mortality, nature, faith, isolation, perception
  • Langston Hughes — identity, dreams, race, hope, and American life
  • Walt Whitman — individuality, nature, humanity, and American identity
  • Edgar Allan Poe — beauty, grief, death, atmosphere, and the darker side of human experience
  • William Blake — innocence, experience, morality, imagination, and spirituality
  • Christina Rossetti — faith, love, sacrifice, temptation, and mortality
  • T. S. Eliot — modern life, spirituality, uncertainty, and meaning
  • Rudyard Kipling — character, responsibility, courage, and perseverance

At this age, poetry can become a bridge between literature and philosophy.

Instead of simply asking, “What poetic devices did the author use?”, parents can ask:

  • “What is this poet saying about life?”
  • “Do you agree?”
  • “What evidence in the poem supports that interpretation?”
  • “Has the meaning changed for you after reading it a second time?”
  • “How might someone with a different life experience interpret this poem?”

These questions encourage teenagers to move from identifying literary techniques to thinking critically about ideas.

Don’t Be Afraid to Read the Same Poet More Than Once

Parents don’t have to abandon children’s poets just because children get older.

A child may laugh at a Shel Silverstein poem when they are eight and discover something entirely different in the same poem when they are thirteen.

The same is true of Robert Frost, Shakespeare, and many other poets.

One of the wonderful things about poetry is that we change as readers.

A poem we barely understand at ten may become meaningful at fifteen. A poem we enjoyed simply because it rhymed when we were young may reveal a deeper idea when we encounter it again years later.

That is one reason poetry is worth keeping in a child’s education over the years—not as a subject that children eventually “graduate” from, but as a form of literature they can continue to discover.

Sometimes a poem should be enjoyed.

  • Read it aloud.
  • Laugh at it.
  • Talk about the images.
  • Notice the rhyme.
  • Ask what the child thinks it means.
  • Then, when appropriate, dig deeper.

Activities to Incorporate Poetry in Homeschooling

Poetry does not need to be a separate, formal subject. It can easily be woven into other areas of a homeschool education.

1. Nature Poetry

Take a nature walk and have your child collect observations rather than objects.

Ask them to write a poem about what they saw, heard, smelled, or felt.

2. Five-Senses Poetry

Choose an object and describe it using all five senses.

This is a simple way to introduce sensory imagery.

3. Rhyme Challenges

Give your child a word and see how many rhyming words they can find.

Then challenge them to use those words in a poem.

4. Nonsense Poetry

Let children invent words.

What does the word mean?

How is it pronounced?

What words rhyme with it?

Can they write a poem using their invented vocabulary?

5. Poetry from History

After studying a historical event, ask your child to write a poem from the perspective of someone who experienced it.

This combines creative writing with history.

6. Science Poetry

Choose something from a science lesson—a planet, animal, chemical element, cell, weather event, or ecosystem—and turn it into a poem.

This encourages children to process what they have learned rather than merely memorize facts.

7. Rewrite a Poem

Read a poem together and ask your child to rewrite it from another character’s perspective.

How would the story change?

What would that character see or feel?

8. Poetry Journaling

Keep a poetry notebook where children can write whenever inspiration strikes.

Not every entry needs to be polished.

The notebook can be a place for experiments, observations, silly rhymes, serious thoughts, unfinished poems, and ideas for future writing.

Resources and Tools for Educators

Parents don’t need an elaborate curriculum to begin using poetry at home.

A good poetry education can start with a collection of age-appropriate poems, a notebook, something to write with, and a willingness to read together.

My own poems can also provide examples for parents who want to show children different approaches to poetry—from fantasy and storytelling to family memories, nature, faith, and reflections on life.

You can use a poem in several ways:

  • Read it aloud.
    Listen for rhythm, rhyme, and repeated sounds.
  • Talk about it.
    Ask what the child notices and what they think the poem means.
  • Visualize it.
    Ask the child to draw a picture of what they see as they listen.
  • Analyze it.
    For older students, identify metaphors, similes, rhyme schemes, meter, symbolism, and poetic structure.
  • Imitate it.
    Write a new poem using the same structure but a completely different subject.
  • Respond to it.
    Ask the child to write a poem expressing their own response to the original.

The goal isn’t simply to teach children how to identify poetic devices.

The goal is to help them discover that words are tools they can use to think, imagine, create, observe, and communicate.

Poetry permits children to play with those tools.

And that is one of the reasons poetry deserves a place in home education.

Conflict Resolution: Be Quick to Listen

Family reading books together on a bed in a warmly lit bedroom. Peace instead of conflict

Why Don’t We Listen?

I used to think I was a patient person.

When I was single, I could do what I wanted when I wanted. I was on time without waiting for someone else. When I spent time with kids, it was only for a few hours. Yet others even told me I was patient. They saw that I worked with children, played with them, taught them, and generally got along well with them.

Then I got married, and everything changed. I discovered something about myself.

I was selfish and impatient, and I wanted my way; therefore, I wanted people to do things when I thought they should. I wanted people to understand what I was saying. I wanted to be heard.

And when they didn’t?

I became frustrated.

Sometimes I became angry.

I’ve come to realize that one of the roots of my anger is remarkably simple: I want my way.

When I was without a family, I didn’t think I had an anger issue. But when I got married, I found myself upset when we ran late and impatient with my kids and my wife. I could no longer do what I wanted, when I wanted. I felt angry. Why? Because I am selfish. I like what I think and believe is best; after all, I am always right.

I’m still working on this issue. God is making progress, but I am still dealing with anger and selfishness. Allow me to share what I’m learning about why anger is destructive and how God is helping me to choose love instead.

Why Conflict?

Conflict happens often because we don’t listen. We have our own preconceived thoughts, opinions, and paradigms. We want to be heard and understood, so we advocate for our position. We believe we are right and will argue to prove it.

The results of this self-centered thinking and behavior are devastating. At a minimum, we wound others emotionally. At worst, wars and conflicts break out, killing millions of people.

The Remedy – Be Quick to Listen and  Slow to Speak

Let’s look more practically at how we can overcome our anger. James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” This is often my prayer for myself. I wans to be quick to listen and slow to speak.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, we can listen to others with understanding.

Do you know why we become angry? Because we want our own way. We don’t want to listen to another way.

We need to listen to others and, most importantly, listen to God. It’s not my way, my wife’s way, my kids’ way; it is God’s way that we need. When we disagree, pray. Listen to what God wants.

We are often quick to speak because we want our way and to be heard. That is selfish. We need to seek what others want. Philippians 2:3-4 says: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” Listen to what others want. Notice that human anger doesn’t accomplish anything good. Verse 20 says, “because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” This is all the more reason we need to seek God’s will if we want the righteousness God desires.

When Bedtime Isn’t Peaceful

Our bedtime routine includes family devotions with our daughters. This is meant to be a peaceful time where we encounter God through prayer and reading his word. However, we often struggle to meet at the same time. The girls need to get ready for bed, which includes brushing their teeth, washing their faces, getting on pajamas, and getting clothes ready for school the next day.

My wife is a host home provider, which means we have people with intellectual disabilities living in our home, and she has to make sure medication is taken, teeth are brushed, and a host of other little duties. Sometimes I assume my wife is done, or she says she’s ready, but the girls aren’t. When the girls are not ready, she may do another task like prepare lunches for the next morning.

Communication breaks down. We fail to listen. My wife may say she’s preparing lunches, but I don’t hear. I may say, “Let’s meet in the bedroom,” but that’s not understood. We are all rushed and heading in different directions. When we finally assemble, there’s no peace and much misunderstanding. I’ll defend what I did. My wife will defend what she did. My girls will defend their behavior. Conflict arises because we don’t listen; instead, we defend.

What should be peaceful and prayerful turns into a minor conflict, hurt feelings, and stress. Why? Because we fail to listen. Nobody in the room is necessarily trying to cause a problem. We’re simply failing to listen.

This is a simple example, but it gets far worse. I know my wife and kids have been in tears because I didn’t listen and understand. My girls have had conflicts with a friend because there was no listening or understanding.

Wisdom from Proverbs

Proverbs repeatedly warns us about the danger of too many words. Proverbs 17:28 says that even a fool can appear wise if he keeps silent. Proverbs 10:19 similarly warns that when words multiply, sin is not far behind. Proverbs 18:13 says we need to listen before we answer. We need to understand what the other is saying and then respond; otherwise, we may come across as unprepared or foolish.

That’s uncomfortable for me because when I am angry, I want to talk. I want to justify myself and be understood. I want to explain. I want to defend myself. I want to make sure the other person understands why I’m right.

But perhaps wisdom sometimes looks like keeping my mouth shut long enough to understand someone else.

Why Do We Become Angry?

I don’t think all anger starts with hatred. Anger is a secondary emotion. Often, a feeling like sadness or hurt lies beneath the anger.

Anger sometimes starts with something much simpler than mere hatred. It’s rooted in selfishness.

  • I want my way.
  • I want to be respected.
  • I want to be heard.
  • I want things done my way.
  • I want people to recognize that I’m right.
  • I want my plans to work.
  • I want someone else to change.

When I don’t get what I want, frustration begins. If I hold onto that frustration, it can become anger.

Philippians 2:3–4 tells us to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

That Scripture gives us the opposite of selfishness: humility. Humility is seeing God for who he is and ourselves for who we are. When we are prideful and selfish, we are making ourselves God. Instead, we need to let God be God. He knows what is best because he created us.

The two greatest commands are to love God and to love others as ourselves. We love others best when we put their interests ahead of our own. This doesn’t mean letting them walk over us or always giving in to their way, but it does mean listening to their desires, wants, and thoughts with understanding.

A Personal Example: Bedtime

As I said, my wife is a host home provider, which means we have mentally handicapped people living in our home. For a time, we had only 2. We recently had the opportunity to take on another. I was generally against the idea. I think it’s too much of a burden on my wife. We’ve had 3; it seemed to overwhelm her at times. Also, to have 3, we need to consolidate our girls into one room. They were 9 and 11 at the time and beginning to express their own independence. They wanted to decorate and arrange their room however they want. It isn’t easy to get them to agree. They wanted their own room.

We’ve twice turned down potential clients. We prayed and asked friends to pray. Each time, to my relief, we felt God said, “No.” We didn’t fight, though we disagreed. My wife felt stressed and concerned each time. She really wanted the extra income and security of having 3, so if one leaves, she has 2. When the 3rd possibility was presented, it looked more like God was saying “yes.” I had to pray because our girls were definitely opposed, and I wasn’t exactly in favor of it.

As I prayed, it came to me to take our girls out to Starbucks and listen to their objections. We did. They objected, but as we talked, we started to consider committing to having one leave by the time the oldest was 13. Everyone agreed with this. My wife expected one of them to move out on their own by that time, which is why she wanted the security of having 3. We agreed that if one didn’t move out, we would let them go. It’s still a bumpy road.

We could have given in to what the girls wanted, or we could have demanded what their mother wanted. Instead, we listened, and we reached a third alternative.

I didn’t take my daughters to Starbucks to convince them I was right.

I took them there to hear them.

That distinction matters.

If I had already decided the answer, asking questions would have been nothing more than a debating tactic. I would have been waiting for them to finish so I could explain why they were wrong.

Instead, I tried to listen.

When I stop trying to be heard and start trying to understand, conflict changes.

This situation could have exploded into anger. I could have been angry at my wife for wanting to separate our girls and possibly overwhelm our family. I could have been angry at my daughters for resisting. Instead, we chose to listen, pray, and seek God’s will together.

Listening Doesn’t Mean Agreeing

  • I can hear my wife without agreeing with her.
  • I can hear my children without giving them everything they ask for.
  • I can hear someone who disagrees with me without changing my beliefs.

Listening simply means I care enough to understand. Sometimes, after listening, I’ll still say no. But at least the other person knows that I heard them.

The Most Important Person to Listen To

Ecclesiastes 5:2 says, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”

There is someone else we need to listen to before we make our decisions: God.

Ecclesiastes warns us not to be hasty with our mouths or our hearts before God.

Sometimes I become so busy trying to make everyone else hear me that I forget to listen to God. Sometimes I so selfishly want my way, that I fail to remember, “Thy will be done.”

I pray, but am I listening? Prayer is not just asking God for what we want. It’s not just telling him our problems. Prayer is not just asking God for what we want. It’s not just telling Him our problems. We also need to pause and listen—to seek His will through Scripture, the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and wise counsel. Put aside our agenda and our wants and ask, “What do you want, God?”

I ask God to bless my decision, but am I willing to change my decision if He leads me somewhere else?

Responding to Anger

Proverbs 15:1  says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” I’ve learned how true that is in my own home. When my kids are angry, and I respond angrily, I haven’t solved anything. I’ve added another angry person to the room. Or worse, I’ve brought my kids to tears. I’ve wounded them emotionally.

James 3:2 says, “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is able, just like a person who puts a bit in a horse’s mouth, to control their whole body.”  James reminds us that we all stumble in many ways, especially in what we say. Controlling our tongue is difficult because our words reveal what is happening inside us.

When I’m angry, my words often reveal that I am thinking about myself.

  • I want.
  • I deserve.
  • You should.
  • You always.
  • You never.

Those words aren’t really about solving the problem.

They’re about defending myself, getting my selfish way.

Listen, Speak Carefully, and Forgive

Listening may prevent some conflicts, but we will still hurt each other. We are imperfect people living together. Even when we listen, we will misunderstand. Even when we speak gently, we will sometimes say the wrong thing.

That’s where forgiveness comes in.

Colossians 3:13 says to “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you”

When someone hurts us, our natural response is to defend ourselves and hold onto the offense. Scripture gives us another way: “forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending nothing happened. It doesn’t mean allowing someone to continue hurting us. It means giving up our desire for revenge and trusting God with justice.

Back to Bedtime

I’m not writing this because I’ve mastered anger. I’m writing it because God is teaching me how destructive my anger can be—and how much better His way is.

Sometimes I wish I could say I’ve figured this out. I haven’t. There are still evenings when we’re all tired, everyone is trying to get somewhere, nobody quite hears what the other person said, and frustration begins to rise.

But now I recognize the pattern. Someone says something. I misunderstand. I become frustrated. I want to defend myself. My voice gets louder. And suddenly, our peaceful family devotion has become a source of conflict.

That’s my signal. I need to look inward, not outward.

I remind myself:

Stop. Listen.

  • What is my wife actually saying?
  • What are my daughters actually saying?
  • What am I assuming?

And most importantly:

What is God asking me to do?

I don’t always get it right. In fact, I probably still get it wrong more times than right. I’m an imperfect human, but I’m learning that being quick to listen and slow to speak isn’t just good advice for avoiding arguments.

Being quick to listen and slow to speak isn’t just good advice for avoiding arguments. It’s a way of loving my family.

Scripture References:
James 1:19 (NIV): “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
James 1:20 (NIV): “…because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
Proverbs 17:28: “Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue.”
Proverbs 10:19: “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.”
Proverbs 18:13: “To answer before listening—that is folly and shame.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2: “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God.”
James 3:2: “We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is able, just like a person who puts a bit in a horse’s mouth, to control their whole body.”
Colossians 3:13: Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
James 3:2: We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
Proverbs 15:1: A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Behind Redeeming Rhubarb: Prejudice, Empathy, and the Story Behind the Story

Woman leading a donkey across a forest bridge with a dog and cat

When we see someone acting with anger, cruelty, or prejudice, it’s easy to judge what we see. It’s harder to ask why. What happened in that person’s life? What fears, hurts, or beliefs shaped the way they see others? Understanding the answer doesn’t excuse bad behavior, but it can change the way we respond to it.

That idea is at the heart of Redeeming Rhubarb. Rhubarb’s prejudice didn’t come from nowhere. Strawberry has to decide whether to accept what her father taught her or look for herself. Bart has to decide how to respond to two boys who are cruel to animals. And throughout the story, characters repeatedly face the choice between judging an enemy and trying to understand one.

Those same questions matter outside the pages of a novel—especially for parents raising children in a divided world.

Recently, I was asked some thoughtful questions about Redeeming Rhubarb: Why did I choose mice and rats? Why did I give Rhubarb a painful reason for his prejudice? What can children see that adults sometimes miss? How much grief and hardship can middle-grade readers handle? What actually changes a cruel child? And what should parents do when their child repeats something hurtful they’ve learned from someone else?

Below are my answers. I hope they spark more meaningful discussions and provide more insight into the novel’s purpose.

You could have written this book about people. Why mice and rats — and why make the bigot the white mouse and the rescuer the black rat?

I wanted to remove the human element to make it more acceptable to my audience. If I chose specific races, others not included may not relate. By using mice and rats, I could keep the story universal while avoiding that problem.

I intentionally chose rats and mice to challenge readers’ existing biases about specific animals and help them recognize how quickly we form a judgment.

Rats are often seen as dirty, disgusting disease spreaders. We think of the bubonic plague spread by rats. In fiction, they are often portrayed as causing havoc, as in Templeton in Charlotte’s Web. While mice are often the good guys in cartoons and books. Think of Repacheep or Mickey Mouse. We often think of cute white mice as a pet.

In the book, I open with those preconceived ideas. Rats break into a home to steal food. Cute mice are having fun playing games and celebrating a birthday. Then I start to break down those notions by showing the rats are hungry and apologetic, while the mouse is loud and vindictive.

In my story, the rat is the hero who rescues, is wise, and sacrifices. The mouse is the one causing harm, trying to destroy, and hating. That reversal is meant to challenge readers’ expectations.

You spent three years as an evangelical Christian living in a lesbian community, having the conversations most people avoid. What did that teach you about how prejudice comes apart?

While I lived in that community, we got to know one another as people and became friends. We camped together, ate together, and played together. I went to parties to have fun and celebrate. All that helped prejudice come apart.

I watched documentaries and movies to understand better their point of view, which also helped me see them as people.

That’s how prejudice comes apart: when we see people as people, not a label.

That experience helped shape one of the ideas behind Redeeming Rhubarb: understanding someone doesn’t require agreeing with them. It requires being willing to see the person behind the label. I later expressed that idea in a poem I called “The Other Side.”

For convictions, we fight
so confident we are right.
Anger and aggression
without pausing to question
the pretexts of our certitude.
Rigid in our attitude.
It’s time we look inside
rather than trying to hide.
The fault and failure lie within
over our own self-centered sin.
Cease blaming others and God!
Let go of the deceptive facade!
Examine and evaluate,
consider convictions to abdicate.
Seek first to comprehend
what enemies apprehend.
Replace anger and apprehension
with charity and comprehension.

Rhubarb isn’t a cartoon villain — he lost a brother to rats. How important was it that his prejudice start from a real wound?

Stephen Covey tells a story of a man whose unruly children are disrupting a quiet subway car. When Covey asks the father to control them, the man replies blankly that they just left the hospital where their mother died. Covey’s perspective instantly shifts from annoyance to deep empathy. We all have a back story, and when you know it, you can understand why a person does or says what they do.

I tell my girls that people who bully or are mean are often hurting inside. We don’t know what goes on in their home. When I was in the 3rd grade, my teacher had a bully step out of the room, and we talked about what he did and why. The teacher explained that he may be hurting and ashamed. That stuck with me.

Knowing why Rhubarb hates rats helps us relate to him and understand his actions. It doesn’t make what he does right, but it does help us comprehend and sympathize.

You lived through the 2013 Boulder flood. What did you see then that ended up in the book?

I remember a road with a raised crack shaped like an upside-down “V”. That memory is in the book. I saw signs of people volunteering to help neighbors whose homes were damaged and people helping to repair trails. I, myself, volunteered to help clean our church’s flooded basement. I lost my wedding ring in the process. I put that volunteer spirit in the book. I remember some homes were damaged and others missed. I put Bart’s apartment near where I lived because our home was not damaged.

Strawberry is the moral engine of the book, and she’s a kid. What do children see about their parents’
prejudices that the parents don’t?

Do you ever watch young kids play? Young children may notice differences, but those differences don’t necessarily determine whom they’ll play with. They see another kid—a potential playmate. I don’t think that prejudice is instinctive. I think it is learned.

Kids can also show a remarkable openness and empathy. They’ve not built up walls to protect their feelings as adults have, so that they can feel and understand each other better.

Rhubarb drinks. Strawberry loses a leg. A character dies. How did you decide how much a middle-grade
reader can carry?

Reading With Your Kids put it this way in their review:

One of the greatest strengths of Redeeming Rhubarb is that it trusts young readers with complex ideas.

The book tackles racism, stereotypes, addiction, grief, courage, family loyalty, forgiveness, sacrifice, and faith without becoming preachy. Instead, these themes naturally emerge through the lives of memorable animal characters.

Kids go through much and are more resilient than we realize. I’ve seen children’s resilience firsthand. My late aunt grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father—my grandfather—and I’ve worked with children from broken homes who were carrying burdens adults sometimes underestimate.

That doesn’t mean children should be overwhelmed with darkness. It means we shouldn’t assume they are incapable of wrestling with difficult realities.

My daughters have watched movies and read books where the main character dies. They feel for the character. The tragedy impacts them.

I decided to make the characters go through tragedy so readers will feel and be impacted. I didn’t make Rhubarb a mean drunk because I didn’t want to scare the kids, so I did set limits. I also wanted the characters to be relatable. Life is not rainbows and sunshine. Characters are not all good and all bad. So I put the characters in difficult situations and show both the good and bad sides of each.

Bart’s nephews arrive, shooting kittens with foam darts, and leave, feeding one with a dropper. What
actually changes a cruel kid?

I have Bart speak sternly to his nephews but not yell. To children, we are towering giants. If we yell and scream, a child will be terrified. Even if we speak gently but look down upon them, they can be intimidated and fearful. Imagine being three feet tall and having someone twice your size standing over you, angry, pointing a finger, and raising his voice. That’s what we can look like to a young child. So Bart doesn’t yell because yelling won’t change them. I wrote in depth about this in another blog.

I have Bart make them work hard. Work does something to us. It gives us purpose and satisfaction. I also have Bart let the boys feel what it is like to feed the kittens and play with the dogs. They experience the warmth and joy of doing good. That teaches more than words can.

As I point out often in the book, we need to understand why someone behaves as they do. Bart inherently understood his nephews, and I bring that out by showing his thoughts.

Bart also doesn’t lecture. He asks questions and lets his nephews answer. This prompts them to consider which is better: being cruel or being kind.

I believe that’s how you change a cruel kid.

A parent hears their child repeat something ugly they picked up at school. Based on this book, what
should happen next in that house?

This should be a conversation starter, not a time for a lecture. We need to understand what happened and why. We need to ask our child why they think another child behaved as they did, to consider what may be happening in the life of the one who did or said something ugly. I give some insights into having those difficult discussions in this blog.

Conclusion

Redeeming Rhubarb was never meant to be a book that children simply finish and put back on the shelf. I wrote it to start conversations—about prejudice, forgiveness, choices, consequences, and what can happen when we’re willing to look beyond a label and understand the person on the other side. As Reading With Your Kids put it:

Some books entertain.

Some books teach.

And every once in a while, a book quietly challenges readers—children and adults alike—to examine the assumptions they carry in their own hearts.

Redeeming Rhubarb is one of those rare books.

To help families continue those conversations, I’ve created a free companion guide to Redeeming Rhubarb with chapter-by-chapter questions and activities.

Let’s keep the discussion going.

Engaging with Children: Building Trust and Communication

Mother and child talking together on a living room sofa

Leo Buscaglia once said that to talk to children, we need to practice deep knee bends. He said we need to get down to their level. That stuck with me. In my years of volunteering in children’s ministry and now raising my own kids, I’ve put that into practice. I get down to their level and look them in the eyes. I play with them on the floor. I ask them questions and listen to them.

To children, we are towering giants. If we yell and scream, a child will be terrified. Even if we speak gently but look down upon them, they can be intimidated and fearful. Imagine being three feet tall and having someone twice your size standing over you, angry, pointing a finger, and raising his voice. That’s what we can look like to a young child. Getting down on one knee changes the entire interaction. Instead of towering over them, we’re face-to-face. When we get down to their level, we can build trust, bring comfort, and teach. Yes, children do need to obey, but not out of fear, rather out of respect.

There are certainly times when a loud voice is necessary. If my child is about to run into the street, I’m going to yell, “Stop!” That’s not intimidation; it’s protection. But there’s a difference between raising our voice to warn a child of danger and yelling because we’re angry or frustrated. Most of the time, we need to speak firmly but gently. Yelling doesn’t earn respect, but gentle firmness does. Yelling causes fear. We don’t want our children to be afraid of us. We want them to respect us.

Playing with Our Kids

Playing with our kids is vital. Fred Rogers taught that “play is really the work of childhood.” He believed that play is not just a break from real learning, but is the core way young children make sense of the world, test what is real, and practice vital life skills. Children are wired to learn as they play. When we play with them, we not only help them learn but also bond with them at their level. That bond builds trust. That bond builds security and love. Children feel loved when they play with us. They learn vital rules about interaction and about life. When I get on the floor and play a game with my girls, I’m entering their world. I’m telling them without saying a word, What matters to you matters to me. They may not remember every lesson I tried to teach them, but they’ll remember that Dad wanted to be with them.

The best way to teach anything is to ask questions, specifically open-ended questions. Questions force us to think. When we think, we ponder what we know and believe. Jesus often responded to questions with questions. He was getting his questioner to think. He didn’t lecture. He taught. When he asked, “But whom say ye that I am?” — Matthew 16:15 (KJV), he certainly knew the answer. The question wasn’t for His benefit. He wanted them to answer.

Lecture Vs Questions

When we lecture, children learn what we think. When we ask good questions, we discover what they think.

There’s an important difference.

If I ask, “Was that wrong?” I’ve almost given my child the answer. But if I ask, “What do you think about what she did?” I’ve opened a conversation.

Then I can keep going:

Why do you think she did that?
Who was hurt by her choice?
What could she have done differently?
What would you have done?
What does the Bible say about it?

Now I’m not simply giving my child a rule. I’m teaching my child how to think.

Of course, questions only work if we’re willing to listen to the answers. If every “wrong” answer immediately earns a lecture, our children will quickly learn to tell us what they think we want to hear. Sometimes we need to let them finish—even when we disagree.

We can then ask another question.

“Why do you think that?”

That may teach us something about our children that we would never discover by lecturing them.

Deep Knee Bends

I’ve been practicing those “deep knee bends” for decades—first with children in ministry and now with my own daughters. I’ve seen the dividends. My daughters know that Dad will listen. They trust me enough to tell me what they think, even when they know I may disagree. That kind of relationship didn’t happen in one conversation. It was built over years of getting down to their level.

So practice those deep knee bends. Get down on the floor. Look your child in the eyes. Play their games. Ask questions. And then listen.

From Squishies to Savings: Parenting Lessons on Wanting

Needo Craze

I admit. I’ve done it. I’ve taken my girls to Five Below before it opened and stood in line to buy squishies. I’ve gone squishy hunting by going to various stores to try to find these elusive toys.

When I was a kid, it was the Cabbage Patch Craze. People stood in line and fought to get these dolls for Christmas. People were violent over a toy. It’s no wonder it is called a craze. It makes people do crazy things.

Why? Why does it become so important to get a toy that everyone else seems to want? God has the answer. It’s called coveting, wanting something that others have. It’s no wonder he said, “Thou shalt not covet.” Isn’t that what we do when we want something that others want or have? We see YouTubers with thousands of these things, so we want them too. Our friends have them, so we want them too.

It drives us crazy. We spend money, lots of money, for something that eventually just takes up space on a shelf or in a toy box. Our selves in the playroom are currently filled with Squishmallows from the past craze.

Lesson Opportunity

One day at work, I received a phone call from my wife. My girls were at Walmart and had found a “rare” Needoh squishy and wanted to buy it. The problem was they didn’t have enough money in their allowance to buy it, so I did the evil thing and said, “No.” That’s right, I said, “No.” I purposely deprived my kids of what they wanted because they didn’t have the money. They knew I had the money, but I wasn’t going to give them an advance.

Aren’t I just a mean dad?

Well, my girls came home, but they weren’t dejected or mad. They know they can do extra chores to earn money in addition to their allowance, so they cleaned the yard. I paid them. They went back to Walmart, but the “rare” toy was gone. I was happy. Lesson taught. It’s a hard lesson, but a valuable one.

I wanted to teach my girls this valuable lesson: You can’t have what you can’t afford. It’s a lesson we all need to learn, especially if we live in rich America.

My wife knows this lesson. She grew up in the Philippines. She had no dolls. She took a Coke bottle and some of her siblings’ baby clothes to make a doll to play with.

The girls have now been very diligent trying to earn money. They’ve cleaned the yard, vacuumed the house, washed and waxed the car. I’m trying to teach them the value of money and a job well done.

Coveting Doesn’t Give You Satisfaction

Today I asked the girls, “Does having these squishies make you happy?” They said, “Yes.” So I pushed it a little further. “Do they give you lasting satisfaction?” The answer this time was “no.” I hope they are beginning to see the point. I remind them of the Squishmallows in the basement. It may take time, but I hope they will eventually understand.

I am proud of them for one thing. They do give away squishies they no longer want to friends who do want them. They also inform friends when they find one they know their friends will like, and they buy it with the understanding that the friend will pay them for it. Sometimes though, they buy it and don’t ask for money. They just give it to their friend. Bravo.

Think About It

Do you get caught up in crazes like these? What do you do when your children don’t have enough to buy what they want?

What lessons are we teaching our kids when we participate in a craze? Should we? Am I wrong to even buy these squishies?

What do you think?

Coveting says, “I want what you have”; generosity says, “I want you to give what makes you happy.” Do you think my girls are learning that lesson? Are your kids learning that lesson?

Savoring Moments: The Importance of Slowing Down

Mother holding hands with young daughter walking down a forest path in autumn

Importance

My daughter moves too slowly for me.
I am in a rush and a hurry.
She stops to explore her surroundings.
A crumpled piece of trash is astounding.
An ordinary stone is a jewel.
She considers me cruel
when I rush her to move along.
She is right; I am wrong.

Moments should be savored, not rushed.
The wonder of creation should leave us hushed.
Adults miss the awe all around.
Beauty that should astound
is missed as we hasten to do more
rather than, like a child, pause to explore.
Time is a gift to be enjoyed
not a limit, leaving us annoyed.

Tips from the Tooth Fairy

How well do your kids brush their teeth? If they are like mine, they probably rush through the job to move quickly onto a more fun activity. I want to encourage good habits in my children, including taking good care of their teeth. Thankfully, I now have some help from none other than the tooth fairy herself.

In the picture book, “10 Tips from the Tooth Fairy,” author Edie M. Higby aka the Tooth Fairy, gives children some sound advice for dental hygiene. Her tips include proper brushing, flossing, trips to the dentist, and smiling. The recommendations are presented in a fun, sing-songy way, making it enjoyable for young children.

I read the book to my daughters, ages 7 and 8. They both gave it two thumbs up. The book is a little too simple for their age as we are now reading chapter books together, but still, they enjoyed it.

I would recommend it for young children who are just learning to brush. They will enjoy the book and be encouraged to have good dental habits.

Edie M. Higby, is a Children’s Book Author, Entrepreneur, and longtime Early Childhood Professional. She has been in the field of Education and Family Service for over 20 years. She received her B.A. degree from Whitworth University and specializes in Early Childhood Education & Curriculum Development. Edie is very passionate about teaching children about their Smile, Joy & Kindness. She started The Tooth Fairy Company in 2013 with hopes and BIG dreams of flying a Tooth Fairy Balloon down the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade one day. February is National Children’s Dental Health Month and National Tooth Fairy Day. On 2.22.2022 Edie and her family “Welcomed” a special new addition to the Tooth Fairy Team, a little Shih-tzu -Yorkie puppy. She even named her, Macy Day Parade.

Tooth decay is the most chronic childhood disease that we have in America today. It is the number one absenteeism from school and one of the top three reasons we enter a child into an emergency room under the age of five years old. In 2010 the American Dental Association declared tooth decay as a national epidemic. Even death can occur from an untreated oral infection and it’s totally preventable.

Web Site:
http://www.believeinthetoothfairy.com

Social Media Links:
https://www.facebook.com/thetoothfairycompany.BELIEVE/

Book link :
https://www.amazon.com/author/believeinthe2oothfairy

Review of “My Very Punny Dad”

Does your dad tell “dad jokes?” Do you laugh or groan when he does? Do you enjoy puns? Do you laugh or groan? Imagine you’re a young boy, and all day your day tells puns. You can’t escape. You’re trapped. You groan (most of the time) and sometimes even laugh. That’s the experience of the young book in a picture book, “My Very Punny Dad” by Ryan Milligan illustrated by Justin Castaneda . The boy regales the reader with his torturous day, where his dad tells puns all day. He even finds notes with puns at school.

If you like a good pun and this experience sounds like an experience your kids would enjoy and relate to, then this is a book you should get and read. I read it to my daughters who are are 7 and 8. They gave it a thumbs up. I had to explain some of the puns. They understood some of the puns. They enjoyed the story and even laughed a little. I admit, I enjoyed reading it to my daughters even though I’m not a fan of puns.

I’d recommend this to any dad who loves telling a good joke. I hope dads enjoy reading this to their children as much as I did to mine. I give it a thumbs up, just like my daughters did.

Ryan Milligan resides in the Chicago suburbs with his wife and three daughters. The author of MY VERY PUNNY DAD, Ryan doesn’t hide his affinity for “dad jokes.” His love of puns and word play began at a young age when he read Amelia Bedelia and quickly became fascinated with how language can be used in creative and silly ways. When he’s not reading books and having fun with his family, Ryan is an information technology professional. He’s also a connoisseur of hot sauce and wildly inconsistent with his mid-irons on the golf course, though he always wears two pairs of pants in case he ever gets a hole-in-one.

For more information visit

Web Site:
https://www.myverypunnydad.com

Social Media Links (Facebook, Twitter etc.):
@myverypunnydad on instagram and twitter

Book link :
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09KN2P8VJ

Review of Pixie And The Green Book Mystery by Caroline Grace illustrated by Encarna Dorado

Do you remember classics like Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella and Snow White? What would you do if the stories were all mixed up and the characters were alive asking for your help? Well, that’s the challenge, Pixie finds herself facing in the children’s chapter book, Pixie And The Green Book Mystery by Caroline Grace illustrated by Encarna Dorado. Pixie is having a bad day until she goes to her favorite place, the library. Today would not be an ordinary trip to the library to read books. Instead, she encounters Alice, Cindi, and others in need of her help.

Pixie and The Green Book Mystery is a humorous, fun chapter book that middle schoolers will enjoy. As an adult, I found myself wondering how Pixie will solve her mysteries and dilemmas.

As an author and a parent, I look for books that will teach my children moral lessons and good character traits. Pixie demonstrates courage, fortitude, and persistence. She doesn’t quit despite setbacks. I think there are good lessons for my girls to learn someday. The author’s purpose is to encourage reading and I think this is accomplished by Pixie’s love for books.

I would recommend this book to parent’s wanting to encourage good character traits and encourage a love for reading. I think younger readers will enjoy this and be excited to learn what happens next in this unfolding mystery/adventure.

Author Bio

Coraline Grace is a reader, writer, library romper, mom of four. This native Texan lives off the coast and draws inspiration from her wonderland forest

She holds a B.A. in child psychology and a Masters in Edu. with an emphasis on reading, both supporting her passion for learning and facilitating children into becoming lifelong readers.

Coraline’s first book, Park It! – A Guide To Austin Parks & Playgrounds was published in Austin Texas. And after trading the salt lick for the salt life she changed focus, publishing a cookbook and two Christian motivational books for success.

But her heart has always been set on children. So she followed her passion and began writing chapter books for young readers. Pixie And The Green Mystery is the first in the series and Pixie And The Purple Mystery is coming up soon!.

For more information visit

http://www.libraryromp.com/p/home.html

http://www.libraryromp.com/p/home.html

Buy the book on Amazon