My middle school novel, Redeeming Rhubarb, isn’t simply a story about a mouse struggling with alcoholism, prejudice, and family relationships. It’s a story shaped by my own experiences with suffering, addiction, betrayal, forgiveness, and the transforming power of love.

When I started writing, I didn’t just want to entertain. I wrote with the intention of having an impact and teaching lessons.

Back in college, I wrote stories as letters to a single mother I cared about. Since her kids didn’t have a father, I made sure the dad in my stories played a big role and taught them important lessons. My goal was to give the kids a father figure, even if it was just in the stories. Drawing from my own childhood memories, I created those tales. For example, my dad often took me fishing, so I wrote about fishing and included the time a bird got caught in my mom’s fishing line. In another story, I wrote about my sister losing her pet bunny and a neighbor bringing it back.

After I got married, I shared the stories with my wife, and she encouraged me to publish them. This was more than twenty-five years after I first wrote them. I knew I had to expand and edit the stories before publishing, so I did. That part was easy. Finding a publisher, though, was much harder.

Publishing the Wrong Way

Eventually, I found a vanity publisher who offered me a deal that sounded good at the time. They promised to publish not just one book, but everything I had written for life. Since I had written several stories for the single mom, I thought I could publish the whole series. I was wrong.

I published the first book in what would become the Oregon Kid series, called The Big Catch. While the second book was in production, the publisher got arrested for stealing from authors, and the company shut down.

The court convicted the publisher and ordered them to make restitution over a 20-year period and return the published files to the authors. I used those files to republish the first book, found the original illustrator in the Philippines, paid him to illustrate the second, and self-published both.

Selling Books

What I learned: any fool can publish a book. It takes work, commitment, and devotion actually to reach readers. Most authors never sell fifty copies. I sold more than fifty — largely because my best salesperson was my mother.

It was hard work trying to sell the series. I found several reviewers and received great reviews. Joining an online book club, I promoted my book there. I advertised on social media and built a website. On a syndicated radio show, I talked about the book. I gave away free books and placed books in dental and doctor’s offices.

Even with all that effort, I didn’t sell more than a hundred books in over ten years.

Publishing Again

When I wrote and published my first books, I was reading picture books to my kids, so my books were picture books too. Now that my children are ten and eleven, I decided to write a book for their age group. I also wanted to tackle something relevant to today’s issues. I picked racism because I see our country divided by race, politics, gender, and beliefs. My desire was to write something that would encourage discussion without adding to the division. I chose to write about loving your enemy, making the persecuted and hated character the one who shows love.

A publisher reached out to me through a Facebook post. She wasn’t seeking to publish my book — she was warning me away from another vanity publisher. She had direct knowledge of the company and knew about my previous publisher’s conviction. Her goal was to protect me from a repeat. We continued our dialogue; I told her about the book I was writing, and we set up a video conference. She liked the idea. I wasn’t done writing it, but I kept her apprised of my progress.

I submitted the book when I felt it was complete, but her team rejected it. The rejection came with feedback on what needed improvement. I spent the next year addressing the issues. Using beta readers and editors, I worked to improve the writing. By the time I was done, I had something worthy of publishing. I submitted it again, and the team accepted it.

Something Special

Once again, I find myself doing the hard work of getting the book known. Before the final version was published, I submitted it to Readers’ Favorite for reviews. I received three 5-star reviews. After it was published, I submitted the book to the Reading With Your Kids Podcast and received a Certified Great Read. Pages and Paws, a reviewer who reads over 400 books a year, called it “One of the finest young adult stories I’ve read in recent memory.”

I knew I had something special, something that would spark conversations. Reading With Your Kids said, “It opens the door to discussions about kindness, fairness, forgiveness, judging others, courage, family relationships, and choosing compassion over fear. It reminds us that every person has a story we cannot see, and that hearts can change when love is given room to work.”

To promote that discussion, I created a Full Teaching Companion. I don’t want people just to read the book. Its themes are meant to spark conversation.

Difficult Discussion

According to the Reading With Your Kids Podcast:

“The book tackles racism, stereotypes, addiction, grief, courage, family loyalty, forgiveness, sacrifice, and faith without becoming preachy. Instead, these themes naturally emerge through the lives of memorable animal characters. Parents will likely find themselves pausing throughout the story for meaningful conversations with their children.”

These themes come from my own experience.

Racism/Stereotypes

For three years, I lived as an Evangelical Christian in a Lesbian community. We had different views, morals, political beliefs, and ideas. Still, we became friends. We camped, played, ate, and celebrated together, getting to know each other as people, not just as labels.

I watched documentaries and movies to better understand their point of view, which also helped me see them as people.

I’ve seen the anger and the hurt. I’ve been educated about the harm and discrimination inflicted on gay individuals. I understand why Christians are seen as the enemy. Gay people do not see a loving and compassionate Jesus when they observe Christians. They see the church as a powerful political organization that opposes basic human rights. I began to empathize with them and understand their point of view.

I didn’t have to abandon my beliefs to develop meaningful relationships with people who held different beliefs. And they didn’t have to abandon theirs either. We didn’t change our views, but we accepted each other as individuals. I discovered that prejudice begins to dissolve in exactly that way.

Through the slow accumulation of moments where a person turns out to be more complicated and more human than the category you put them in.

• Not through argument.
• Not through being convinced.
• Through relationship.
• Through proximity.

Rhubarb the mouse hates rats. When one moves into his neighborhood, he has to live next to someone he dislikes — but this rat is different. He risks his life to save Rhubarb’s family and shows constant kindness. When the Boulder flood hits, animals that once hated each other are forced to work together to survive. In the end, they find friendship and respect, much like what I experienced in a community very different from my own.

Addiction

I spent decades participating in recovery groups like Celebrate Recovery. I dealt with addiction and shame. What helped me overcome it was not trying harder. I would try, fail, feel shame, and be driven deeper into the addiction. Love set me free. My accountability partners loved me. They never condemned me when I failed. I met and married a woman who loved me without my having to earn her love. She mirrored God’s unconditional love for me.

Rhubarb is an alcoholic. His addiction numbs his pain. When he reaches his breaking point, he doesn’t recover — he feels shame and is driven back to alcohol. It’s truth and love that finally redeem him. His daughter speaks truth, and the rat he hated shows love.

Grief

I lost a cousin, aunts, and an uncle. A friend committed suicide. I know what grief feels like. I know the questions it raises and the deep pain it causes. Wrestling with death helped me better appreciate life and God’s grace as He walked me through it.

Rhubarb and his family assume his daughter has died. His family mourns deeply. Rhubarb is broken and devastated, feeling it was all his fault. Rhubarb lost a brother, too, and still feels that pain. From experience, I know that the pain of losing someone we love never completely disappears. I wanted Rhubarb to experience that same reality.

Courage and Sacrifice

My wife is from the Philippines. To marry me, she moved from her family to live with me in America. She sacrificed what she loved most — her family — to become my wife. My wife takes care of people with intellectual disabilities in our home. This work requires tremendous love, compassion, courage, and sacrifice.

Barnabas, the rat, and Strawberry, Rhubarb’s daughter, are courageous. They face the danger of the flood. They risk their lives to save others. This kind of courage and sacrifice demonstrates what it truly means to love.

Family Loyalty

In my experience, family loyalty is especially strong in Filipino culture. Family helps family even when it costs more than any individual can bear. Whoever works in the household buys the food and pays the bills for everyone in it, whether immediate or extended family. When I met my wife, she was living in a boarding house with a sister and a cousin. They provided for each other. Now that my wife lives in America, she supports her immediate family financially and provides occasional help to her extended family.

Rhubarb, despite his flaws, loves his family. His daughter does anything she can to rescue her family and friends. Though Strawberry doesn’t approve of her father’s behavior, she never stops trying to help him. She is loyal.

Forgiveness

My mentor betrayed me. He courted and married a woman for whom I had feelings. I had confided my feelings for her to him and sought his advice. I forgave him. Forgiveness became possible because I know I’m forgiven of much. I’ve hurt others. I’ve sinned. I’m forgiven.

Barnabas can forgive and love Rhubarb because he knows he has been forgiven. He knows he’s hurt others and says so. Forgiveness is not earned. Rhubarb did nothing to earn forgiveness; in fact, he did the opposite. He hurt. He condemned. Because Barnabas forgave Rhubarb, Rhubarb was able to change. He no longer tried to earn love. He received it as a gift. That broke his shame just as love broke mine. Receiving love is what makes overcoming possible. It’s how Rhubarb is redeemed.

Experience

My past experiences went into my novel. That’s what makes it real and special. It’s not just some made-up story of redemption. It’s a story written from the experience of someone redeemed.

I learned that I cannot earn God’s love. I experienced that shame can keep us trapped in destructive behavior. Love, grace, and forgiveness create the possibility of transformation. I wove the lessons I learned into the book so others may learn them.