Men’s Bible Study Guide ~ Based on Unoffendable by Brant Hansen
Opening Question
When did you first realize you had an anger problem? What triggered that awareness?
I. What Does the Bible Say About Anger?
Main Point
God commands us to eliminate anger, not just manage it better. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.
Key Scriptures
- Ephesians 4:26-27, 31-32 – “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil… Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”
- James 1:19-20 – “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”
- Colossians 3:8 – “You must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander.”
- Proverbs 15:1 – “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Discussion Questions
- How do you typically interpret “be angry and sin not”? Does the full context of Ephesians 4:26-32 change your understanding?
- Paul says to “not let the sun go down on your wrath.” Why is dealing with anger quickly so important? What happens when we let it fester?
- In what ways does holding onto anger give the devil a foothold in your life? Share a specific example if you’re comfortable.
II. What About “Righteous Anger”?
Main Point
Jesus cleansing the temple doesn’t justify human anger. God’s anger is qualitatively different from ours. God’s prerogatives don’t become our permissions.
Key Scriptures
- John 2:13-17 – Jesus cleanses the temple (note: Scripture never says He was angry)
- Romans 12:19 – “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”
Discussion Questions
- Have you ever justified your anger as “righteous”? What was the situation? Looking back, was it truly righteous or just self-righteous?
- Why is it dangerous to appoint ourselves as judges over others’ behavior? How does this fuel our anger?
III. Practical Steps to Overcome Anger
Main Point
Anger is rooted in selfishness – wanting our own way. We overcome it by listening to God and others, humbling ourselves, forgiving quickly, and choosing not to be offended.
Key Scriptures
- James 1:19-20 – Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry
- Philippians 2:3-4 – “Do nothing out of selfish ambition… in humility consider others more important than yourselves.”
- Matthew 7:3-5 – The speck and plank – focus on your own faults
- Colossians 3:13 – “Forgive as the Lord forgave you”
- Matthew 18:21-22 – Forgive “seventy times seven” (unlimited forgiveness)
- Proverbs 19:11 – “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
Discussion Questions
- James 1:19 says to be “quick to listen, slow to speak.” How does selfishness (wanting our own way) make us bad listeners? Give an example from your marriage or family.
- Why do we condemn or judge others? How does comparing ourselves to others fuel anger?
- Proverbs 19:11 says it’s “to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” What does it practically look like to choose not to be offended?
- Share a time when unforgiveness put you “in prison.” How did forgiveness set you free?
IV. What Does Love Look Like?
Main Point
Love is the opposite of anger. When we truly love others, we are patient, kind, not easily angered, and we keep no record of wrongs.
Key Scripture
- 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 – “Love is patient, love is kind… it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs… Love never fails.”
Characteristics of Love (vs. Anger)
- Patient & Kind – The opposite of anger and vengeance
- Not Envious – Envy causes anger when we focus on what we don’t have
- Does Not Boast – Pride makes us angry when put down
- Does Not Dishonor Others – Anger dishonors and blames
- Not Self-Seeking – Wanting our own way is the root of anger
- Not Easily Angered – When other-focused, we’re not angry
- Keeps No Record of Wrongs – Angry people bring up past sins
Discussion Questions
- Which characteristic of love in 1 Corinthians 13 do you struggle with most in your relationships? Why?
- “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” Do you keep a mental scorecard of your wife’s or kids’ mistakes? How does this fuel your anger?
- How can focusing on others’ needs (rather than your own way) defuse anger in the moment?
V. Personal Application
- What is one specific situation where you regularly get angry? (Being late? Kids not listening? Work frustrations? Wife’s decisions?)
- What’s the real root of that anger? (Selfishness? Pride? Control? Fear?)
- What is ONE practical step you’ll take this week to choose love instead of anger in that situation?
- Who will you ask to hold you accountable?
Closing Prayer Points
- Confess specific anger issues to God
- Ask for the Holy Spirit’s power to be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger
- Pray for the ability to forgive those who have hurt you
- Ask God to help you choose love over anger this week