The group Boston asked in 1986 “What does it take to be a man?” Often society answers that question by portraying a man as tough, strong, independent, courageous, and non-emotional. The ideal men are the John Wayne’s and Chuck Norris’s of the world.
Tom Scholz of Boston answered the question differently with words like “a gentle hand,” tenderness,” “weak or strong” and “what you can feel.”
In the children’s picture book, “Boys Can Be Strong & Emotional” author Esther Pia Cordova answers the question in a similar way as Scholz. Jimmy, a bear, is to become a man. He must go through a test given to him by his Dad. The tests are challenging and frightening. Jimmy decides he needs help, so he seeks both advice and help from his friends. For the final challenge, Jimmy wisely decides that it is too dangerous.
Jimmy learns that to be a man, it is good to seek help because “real men are not always good at everything”. He learned that real men “make smart decisions.” It’s a smart decision not to do something too dangerous. Jimmy learns that real men can cry as he witnesses a tear on his dad’s face. He learns that real men “can still have fun.”
These lessons are contrary to the messages our boys often receive from society. It is important that children understand the lessons being taught them when they watch movies, play games and interact with peers. When those messages contradict what we want children to learn, it is our responsibility as parents, educators, and caregivers to make children aware and to present the lessons we do want them to learn. Cordova gives us a tool in her story to use to do just that. As we read this story we can engage our children and ask, “What should Jimmy do?” ”Is it good to ask help? “ “Should he do something that is dangerous?”
I’d recommend this book to anyone who wants children to learn that men need to ask for help, need to make wise decisions and can be emotional.
Author Bio:
When Esther was 7 years old she had a phase during which she refused to do her homework alone. She thought she couldn’t do it. This is far too often what we tell ourselves, even as adults. Recently, Ester attended a coding bootcamp. The experience was the most challenging thing she had ever done, but that is where she learned about the growth mindset and the powerful word YET. It’s such a simple but important concept. Esther wanted to share this discovery with kids everywhere and help parents to embrace the growth mindset as well. She believes that this simple concept will help children overcome their fears and strive to learn as much as they can in life. She wants people to stop saying “I can’t do that,” and start saying “I can’t do that, YET!”
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